Cheater???

Am I a cheater?

This question has been running through my mind periodically over the last three weeks. I have a goal. Regardless of what that is, I have one. And I am trying to figure out if I am a cheater.

I made 55 homemade chocolate mini brownies,dipped them in milk chocolate, iced them to look like lollipops, hand brushed on silver edible powder on one of the swirls, put them on sticks and tied pretty ribbon around each one. I put each one in a vase stuffed with either blue or silver tissue paper, and took them to the "sweet treat" themed baby shower last night. I worked ALL day with my friend to do it. I had one yesterday after they were all done. I brought 8 home after the shower, and I had one today. I am trying to get my kids to eat them FAST so the temptation will leave me:) So am I a cheater because I couldn't resist the temptation and had to have one?

Am I a cheater when I don't do all I am suppose to to maintain my relationship with God? Do the fly by (quick while I'm on the run) prayers, worship in the shower, the "please Jesus help" moments and grace that's prayed through screaming kids count towards the goal? Am I just cheating myself out of the best possible results when I don't GIVE it my ALL? Do the days I am distracted and *busy* and it all becomes less than I had hoped, hurt my relationship with Him? What about when I have an "I don't care" attitude? Why does it sometimes take a disaster for me to turn to God and ask Him to forgive me for forgetting about Him all day? What counts?

Every calorie I eat is more for me to burn off before I reach my goal right?

So do two mini brownies count as a loss? Do I have to work harder now to reach my goal? When my bible is collecting dust, when my journal's last entry was months ago...when...when...when...

I really wonder who is keeping score. Is it just me?

I don't want to be labeled as a cheater. I want to show my kids that it IS possible to do ANYTHING with motivation, will, determination, choice and most importantly with God. I don't want to leave Him out of anything. I want to walk the walk and see the results! Can I do it or am I just a cheater?