Much to say and learning how to put it to words...

Much to say and learning how to put it to words...

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wild horses could not take me away...from Horses

This could be a long one...
It started out this past winter when Tory and I were chatting about what to get Kaehli for her 12th birthday.  We had moved to an acreage the summer before and in my heart...I knew exactly what it was time for.  It was time to bless our daughter with the ability to follow her dream!  On the back of a horse!  So here began the journey of finding the perfect horse for my girl! 

We tried to keep it a secret and just couldn't.  We decided she needed to be apart of the process...the hunt.  I later regretted this decision as the first horse we brought home turned up so lame we took it back the next day!  Let me tell you, there is nothing quite like seeing your daughter cry her eyes out from total heartbreak because of a decision you made.  Uggg...not a good week!  We are still months and months later trying to sort that all out.  It didn't turn out well.  I think this is one of those situations I'll never understand until heaven...but they say what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger.  I guess Kaehli's character building began here.

My hero horseman neighbor lost his mind when he found out what Kaehli had to go through on her birthday.  Thus began his search, almost hell bound and determined to make a little girls dreams come true!  It didn't take long before I got a call from him early spring, letting me know he was bringing me a couple horses to try.  "NO strings attached" he told me.  If you don't like them, we send them back and bring two more until Kaehli has her match!  He cut keys to his tack barn, gave them to me looked me in the eye and said "FILL YOUR BOOTS!".  (translation: ride until you can't ride anymore!) 

Through-out this time, I got myself a job at a working training facility for horses.  For one month I mucked out stalls, de-wormed horses, cold hosed injured horses, filled water buckets, swept, turned out mares, geldings and studs, I stacked bales as tall as I could reach above my head on a trailer to be brought back to the barn for feed, trailered pregnant broodmares closer to the barn for foaling, and took everything in like a sponge.  I asked as many questions as I could, I was honest and made sure everyone knew I simply knew nothing!  I even got to help the vet exray one horses feet, that had turned up a little lame.  I learned about feed, tack, and so much more.  God was opening doors for me, and pushed the fast forward button for a while. I also started lessons, and got Kaehli lessoning as well.  I figured if we were going to do this horse thing, I am going to do it right!  That means learning everything I possibly can.  I ordered many books and spent hours reading.  I even drew a horse on the white board and memorized all the body parts by marking the proper names on the horse.  Kaehli got a little jealous if I got to ride more than her, and I explained that if mommy doesn't figure this all out, she wouldn't get to either.  She didn't say much after that.  It was hard work, but I loved every minute.

Kaehli fell in love with one of the horses my neighbor brought over.  She named him Denver.  It really is a happy ending.  The hero neighbor also gave me a horse as a gift so I could ride with my girl.  How do you thank someone who finds you a horse, a safe healthy sound horse and gives it to you?  So here begins the adventure...and so this blog entry isn't too long, I will save some stories for later!  And I tell you...there are a few good ones!

Wild horses could not take Kaehli away from Denver...and could not take me away from being right beside her the whole way!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Shorter days

The days are definitely getting shorter.  Nothing enforces getting off your horse or out of the garden like night fall.  The past few weeks I have been wondering around my house in the evening thinking WHAT on earth am I going to do all winter long after kids are tucked in for the night?  I wish it would stay warm and light enough to be outside but the inevitable is happening and the "s" word is on its way.  I won't say it out loud yet!  I won't do it! 
So guess what I did this week at night after kids went to bed?!  BAKING! I tried two recipes that I will share with you below!  WHY?  Because they turned out AWESOME!  I think we all won't have to much trouble fattening up for the long winter ahead at this rate;)
The first recipe is Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Muffins...YUM!  I added milk to the batter because it wasn't quite sticky gooey enough (maybe I didn't measure my flour perfect).  Here is the link which I found on Pinterest(my other night time filler and new found love!)

The second recipe is Apple Crisp.  I'm not a huge lover of apple crisp.  I think because I have never perfected it.  I find it always to mushy, too sweet...too something.  BUT THIS RECIPE!!!!  Its PERFECT!  I loved it!  YOU MUST TRY! Here is the link (thank you Natalie B for sharing your find!!!) And at this time of year, when I have 3, 5 gallon pails of apples from my sweet 80 year old neighbor to use up, it worked out just right and it's a generous size! Bake it until its getting brown and crunchy on top and you must add your favorite vanilla icecream!  YUM!
Both pictures are taken from the recipe links...HAPPY BAKING!  And if you figure out how to stay fit with out getting on an eliptical this winter let me know!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Happy Ending...with a shovel!

Long day at the office trying to get things all caught up so we can sneak away as a family this weekend. Good thing I have left over pasta sauce from last night, just have to boil some noodles for supper right?!

After work I had to take Grace to music, and then I called Kaehli on the way home to get her going on supper. This is how our conversation went...

Kaehli can you take out the pot I used last night and fill it full of water, put it on high to boil? Then set the table and call me ok? A few minutes go by...

Hi mom, I took the "green" pot out of the fridge, filled it full of water and turned the stove on high. (I am starting to feel my heart beat faster) Kaehli you don't mean the “green” crock pot in the fridge that was full of pasta sauce do you? She says " said the pot from last night". TURN everything off! Don't touch anything else. I will be right home!

Uggg! Not only do I have to figure out supper now, I have a huge mess to clean up and a meal or two is garbage! It’s now almost 6pm and I have to leave again by 6:50.

I can feel the battle going on in my head as I drive the rest of the way home. How can I NOT lose it when I get home, how can I handle this maturely? How can I just let this slide like water off a ducks back??? This can go one of two ways...

I drove in the yard (a little too fast) to find Tory, Cole and Ashley working hard in the yard cleaning up firewood and digging in the huge garden bed that I need all the clay dug out of. I stormed in the house, stormed by Kaehli, stormed around some more, stormed to the bathroom and dumped the very watered down pasta sauce (that was more water than sauce) down the toilet. No apology from Kaehli, no “can I help clean up”, not a peep. Later she told me she knew I was mad so she stayed away.

I came up with plan B for supper (Burgers and perogies), Did I mention Tory said “I looked mad”?, did the dishes and left for the third trip back to town, haircuts for Grace and Cole.

As I sat and had time to think while each kid had their special time in the chair I wonder how the last 2 hours just happened. I told myself I wanted to just let this go, yet I didn’t. I was cranky, and mad and probably looked more like a two year old having a tantrum than anything else. Sighhh

I decided I owed everyone an apology so off to Jack’s Drive In we went to bring Ice-cream treats home for everyone! As I pulled in the yard, I found my husband working in the dark with tractor lights on still digging in my dirt, my new garden bed!!! Let me tell you was I humbled! AND was I ever glad I brought home ice-cream!!! I apologized for my bad attitude to Tory, thanked him for his hard work, thanked the kids for helping in the yard, and asked my 12 year old if we could be friends. I told her I was sorry for making her think I was mad at her, I wasn’t really, just frustrated with the situation. She very willingly accepted, gave me a huge hug and had a huge smile taking her Oreo Jack frost!

This long story to tell you the day ended with a shovel, ice cream and one big happy family! Thanks God for little lessons that keep me humble and thank you for a hardworking husband and kids who love me despite my tantrums!!!

-Full Heart-

Monday, September 19, 2011

A bunch of FIRST'S

September always feels like the beginning of the year for me. For obvious reasons like school starting and all of the kids activities gearing up to go. So lets look back over the last year, and I will tell you about all of our firsts!

First year living on an acreage I have to say has been everything I dreamed it would be! Here is a little peek...

First garden turned out to be a success!

First baby bunnies were so sweet that we kept making more!

First horse and first love for Kaehli...this will take a whole other post to talk about!

First time working on a Horse Ranch!

First year of Hockey for Cole!

First RODEO! YEE HAW!!!!

First farm Auction was so fun and I came home with treasure!

First time I walked down the driveway to water the flowers by the gate I stopped and whispered...Thank you God. Thank you for bringing us to this place, to this moment. I told Tory that we can get old now...and I know this is just the beginning!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Christmas Home Tour 2009

This is my home decorated for Christmas. I was a part of a fundraiser to raise money for women in Costa Rica and Uganda. The money will go towards medical supplies. If you don't know what a Christmas Home Tour is, this is how it works: You pay $10 and receive a map to 11 homes. My home was one of the 11. Then you drive to each one and tour them! You definitely get inspired for Christmas. It was a great day! We decorated and displayed our Christmas traditions. Over 100 people passed through our home!! Our hope was that women would be blessed by the love and warmth of Christ through out our home.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


2010 hmmmmmmm ten years has gone by so quickly. I find myself day dreaming often in 10 year increments. It must be a "getting older" thing now that I'm over 30. Did I just say that out loud?
So many things change in 10 years. Houses change, jobs change, your weight changes, your hair color changes, your style of clothes change, your car changes, change change change I could go on and on.

There are 2 things that have remained constant for me over the last 10 years. First God continues to prove himself to me. Me the doubter, the constant doubter (hang head here). But God my ever lasting loving God has shown me how faithful he is, how he still works miracles today, how he whispers in my ear. The latest thing he whispered in my ear just a few days ago was "I see you daughter". I was dreaming and wondering and started to shove those dreams back down where they couldn't possibly hurt me if I don't think about the ones that haven't come true. I heard it gentle and sweet but clear as day, "I see you daughter"!!!!!! I treasure those words. He sees ME! Little unworthy me! I know what ever 2010 brings my father God sees me and will take care of me! Whether my dreams come true or not I stand in His will and smile because He sees me. I couldn't say that a year ago!

The second thing that remains true and truer every day is the love my husband pours over me. I have failed him time and time again yet he continues to poor his love over me, and sheds my crazy woman mood swings like water off a ducks back ha! I don't know how he puts up with me or has for over 10 years but he has. And every hardship, every rejection, every hurt, every sting, every mountain, valley, desert storm, we find ourselves running into each others arms. 10 plus years of hard times (lots of good times too) has brought us closer together each one a reminder that all we have is each other. In the end I know who will be by my side. My best friend.

I look forward to what 2010 has in store. I know that with God and Tory and the kids by my side it's sure to be a marvelous wonderful adventure. Regardless of what the year ahead holds I know one things for certain we're gonna be closer at the end!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I don't want to go through the motions

This might hurt; It's not safe
But I know that I've got to make a change
I don't care if I break
At least I'll be feeling something
Just ok is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't want to go through the motions
I don't want to go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't want to spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets; Not this time
Gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
Just ok is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life


Take me all the way
Take me all the way
I don't want to go through the motions
I'm finally feeling something real

I don't want to go through the motions