Attack

This evening seemed a little chaotic. Kaehli my oldest was very over tired from a sleep over at a friends the night before so she was short and snappy and grouchy with all of us. This lead to other short and snappy children. Which lead to a short and snappy mommy and daddy. Tory struggled with a sinus cold all day and was feeling miserable and dizzy. Grace has been going through this deathly screaming stage which seems to be what I have been waking up to for the last few weeks which adds to the "short and snappy mommy". All of this to say that we were all kinda bickering and not having a happy night together at all. Supper was rushed and if you know my husband at all you know that he is a TIME WARDEN!! Can't be late!! Anyway we were driving to church tonight at it hit me that the enemy was trying to keep us from going to church. I looked at Tory and said...it's spiritual ware fare! We are being attacked because the enemy is trying to keep us from going to church. So I started declaring that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour and I am a daughter of the King. And from Tory, to Kaehli, Ashley Grace to Cole we all out loud declared this! And instantly I felt a little more relaxed and a peace came over the van.
We got to church and the kids went to their classes, we took our seats with our Starbucks coffee in hand and waited. We had been anticipating this service all week. A Uganda preacher took the stage with our pastor and began to share his testimonies of delivering witches, and soldiers, Parliament leaders, and people. How these men and women use demonic powers to control people and the country. He shared how God told him to take back the land of Uganda. Even the government was scared of these witches who called on demons to give them powers, to burn houses down, kill people, sacrifice children, and worship Satan with alters and human sacrifices and other unclean things. He shared how the Holy Spirit speaks to him with knowledge and wisdom and how he has been used to heal God's children. He has been used to take back the land of Uganda and no witch or demon is stronger than the power of the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Many many people came to know our God in Uganda and even one of the witches that was delivered is in ministry now. He spoke over our little congregation, and called out healings that were happening then and there. He ended the service with asking if there was anyone who needed to rededicate their life to Christ, or for the first time give everything over to Christ. He asked those people to raise their hand, and then come up on stage. Over 30 people I would say came up! AMAZING! He told them how when he came to know Jesus, he gave his whole life and never looked back! He told these new Christians to do the same. We worshipped and celebrated together. It was powerful and amazing! God can work and is working in Uganda and God can work here!
I was so happy to have been in this service and wished it didn't have to end because of childcare. God is so amazing and I can't seem to get enough of Him and the testimonies of how he is working all across our nation to save His children. I hope one day I can go and witness for myself these wondrous works of the King. I hope I can be a light in this dark world.

But for now, I recognize that even here in the best place to live in the world we undergo spiritual attack because the enemy wants to rob, kill, steel, and destroy!! I choose to put on the full armor of God for me and my family. Tonight after we put the kids to bed my second daughter Ashley came up stairs weeping. She was so upset because she had a bad dream. It was literally minutes that she had been sleeping, so I thought maybe she was lying just to come out and procrastinate going to bed. I could tell instantly she wasn't lying because of how upset she was though. I said tell me what you dreamt Ashley. She couldn't tell me she said...it was too terrible. I told her that she had to tell me and say it so there would be no more darkness, for where there is light (by her telling me) there could not be darkness. Finally she started to tell me her dream. She slowly told me that there was a knock on her door and when she opened it, there was a..a...a...(she couldn't say it). What was it Ashley? She continued to cry...it's OK I told her. It was a...robber and he had a (really really crying now) a knife. I said Ashley was he coming to get you? Did he hurt you? No she shook her head...You momma he was coming to get you! I grabbed her and held her and hugged her tight and we prayed together out loud. She repeated after me
I am a child of the King Jesus Christ. I am protected and saved and loved by him. His powers are stronger than any other power. He protects my family. His blood washes me clean. He died for me. He loves my mommy and protects her. Nothing will happen to my family that isn't in God's will. ( I continued to pray over her, that her mind would be protected, that the holy spirit would fill her, our house and every room, that she would sleep well and know that we are safe and loved and protected). The enemy has no power here and he isn't going to rob or steel, destroy or kill anything!!!

Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere. Ephesians 6:11-18

No Brains!

Ashley has been home sick for the last three days with croup. I can tell she is feeling a little better today. This is what I heard from up the stairs this morning and I had to share it as Tory and I had quite the chuckle!

Grace (who is 4): "Ashley smacked me with her stuffy on my head! And now I don't have any brains!!!! IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, you know!!!"

So Grace's advice to you would be AVOID any oncoming *Stuffies* at all times or you too might be brainless!!

(smile)

Divorce

I have been mulling over what to blog about for a few days now and my heart keeps coming back to the same subject. It isn't about Christmas really, or new years. It is heavy on my heart.

The past few weeks have been crazy with events, excited kids, Christmas wonderlands, wrapping paper, tape, scissors, baking, resting, movies, Jammie's...a whirl wind of things. But one afternoon it all seemed to "pause" for a few hours.

I received an email to pray for my friend. I didn't know what it was about, but I prayed and I prayed then and there. With in a day or so, I found out that her parents were having problems in their marriage, that they were divorcing. That word HIT me. It was like a knife in my heart...divorce.

My parents separated and divorced when I was 10. And my Grandparents divorced when my mom was little too. I look at my oldest daughter now who is 10, and I think sometimes..."if you only knew". Yet in my heart I am so glad she doesn't "know" what it was like to be me or my mom. Our babies have such a short time to be children, and the rest of their lives to be grown up, I don't want to wish it away. In fact I would like to press pause right now, but I can't:)

Anyway, this came as a huge shock to Tory and I. I read and read her blog over a few times. My eyes burned with tears. I was sad, and shocked, and I think I was grieving for each family member represented, oh how I hurt for them. Re-living some of the thoughts I had when my mom told me my daddy was leaving. Although this family is all grown up now, there are grand kids and it is still very real to them I'm sure.

I looked at Tory, and I said "are we next"? Are we going to divorce when are children are all grown up? Will there be nothing left for us when our babies all leave home? Why are so many of our friends parents divorcing at 45-50-60 years old? Are your parents going to divorce? My head was cloudy and racing. We prayed for a miracle.

Reflecting on our first years of marriage, I am amazed that we have made it this far sometimes. See when we would fight I always wanted to "leave". Whether it was for 10 minutes to cool off or to "leave leave" it was always in the back of my head. When your hurt, and fighting, and it sucks, you leave. Get yourself out of the situation. So self centered looking back...me me me.

Well yes those actions can be helpful in certain situations like abusive ones, or if your both in agreement and need to cool off, but it didn't help my marriage. It hurt it, and it hurt Tory. He comes from a family that did not believe in divorce. It IS NOT an option, and it was not an option for him. I came from a family where it was always an option, my parents did it, my grandparents did it, so why wouldn't I too if it was bad enough. But what's bad enough?

All of this to say, that God has so worked on my heart and changed me. I know it will never be any greener anywhere else. And where ever you go you just take the big back pack on your back full of baggage and problems with you. I don't want to deal with my stuff alone! I want my best friend with me. Don't you?

Divorce isn't an option for us or for me. It is a sin. It is not God's will for me and Tory and it will never be! God gave Tory to me and me to him! We are gifts to each other.

Isn't the best gift we can give our kids and each other our marriage?

My heart hurts for the brokenness that seems to be becoming an epidemic of divorce surrounding us in our Christian circle. How is it, that the Christian families that many of my friends looked up to and were mentors and models of Christ to them, are now choosing a different path? A path of divorce or separation?

It is confusing to me and heart wrenching. How can we teach our kids not to smoke if we smoke? Or not to have sex before marriage, or drugs, drinking? How can we give our kids the gift of "choosing" to love even when we don't "feel" like it if we DON'T choose it?

Oh how I need you Lord! I need your wisdom and teaching! I am scared sometimes and desperate for you. I want to get this right! I want my marriage to last! I want to break the cycle of divorce in my family. Thank you lord that your plans for us are so much greater than the plans of the enemy. And maybe our parents are going through this trial so we can see Your truth in all of this. Help me never to lose sight of you in my marriage. Help me to see Tory how you do, to love Him like You do. Lord help the husbands and wives that can't see you in their marriage find you again. Help them choose you, and choose to love again. Lord bring healing where there is brokenness where only you can. And show us all how much we really need you. Lord strengthen our marriages and bind us together with Your love. Lord where there is selfishness in me and hardness, would you break that down, so there is less of me and more of You. I trust you Lord and I lay all of these thoughts in your hands. In Jesus Name Amen

A miracle did come for my friend and her parents. God is real today and he is working in all of us! He is using not so good circumstances and brokenness to Glorify himself. He is building testimonies of His faithfulness and truth! He is good, always Good! And because of prayer, today there is a marriage that rests in His hands. And many children and grandchildren praising Him for it!

Glory be to Our God!

Chickadee Lane

My husband came in my office as I was working on this new blog of mine...and says "Why Chickadee Lane?" I quickly replied it reminds me of my grandpa.

I don't have many good memories of being a child. But I never lacked anything that I knew of anyway. I always had shoes, and clothes and food...although sometimes my shoes had holes in the bottoms.

Let me tell you about my Grandpa though. I am an only child. And every summer I got to go visit my grandpa and grandma Koehli. They lived in their motor home in the summer time down in a river valley camp ground. I could hardly wait!! That week or two was pure heaven to me! I got to be me! A kid! I collected worms in a tin coffee can full of dirt, I played in the camp playground, cooked over the fire with the "Master fire cooker" (aka my grandpa). No one could cook on the fire like him. We had toast over the fire with butter and jam as a bedtime snack every night...and of course marshmellows. Which no one could brown and toast like him with out catching theirs on fire! My grandpa would piggy back me up the hill...well as far as he could anyway...and we would walk through the wild grass and pick strawberries. And every morning my grandpa and I would walk. We would walk and talk and he would teach me about birds. I know the song of the chickadee, the white throated sparrow, the purple, and gold finches, the sparrows and pine sis cons, the "upside down bird" we called it when I was little, but really its called the nuthatch, the wood peckers, and magpies who would always steel the squirrels peanuts, and the robins. He would take me to see where the robins always hid in the bushes and nested and laid their pretty blue eggs. I could go on and on...but his favorite was the Chickadee...chickadee dee dee...springs here, springs here! Grandpa would say!

I will never forget the day he introduced me to a friend and his wife who were walking by our campsite...and he said "this is the apple of my eye". I didn't even know what it meant...but deep in my heart I knew he loved me so much.

I miss my grandpa. Even know I tear up with the memories I could go on and on about. There isn't a man who loved me more as a child. We were kindred spirits. My grandpa died when I was 16. I really wish he could have met my husband and my kids. He would have been so proud of me. And they really would have loved each other. One day I hope I will see him in heaven...but I don't know for sure. I miss you Grandpa Koehli, and I will make sure my little ones know about all the birds, and I will take them to the pond to watch the ducks. I love you.