Happy Ending...with a shovel!

Long day at the office trying to get things all caught up so we can sneak away as a family this weekend. Good thing I have left over pasta sauce from last night, just have to boil some noodles for supper right?!

After work I had to take Grace to music, and then I called Kaehli on the way home to get her going on supper. This is how our conversation went...

Kaehli can you take out the pot I used last night and fill it full of water, put it on high to boil? Then set the table and call me ok? A few minutes go by...

Hi mom, I took the "green" pot out of the fridge, filled it full of water and turned the stove on high. (I am starting to feel my heart beat faster) Kaehli you don't mean the “green” crock pot in the fridge that was full of pasta sauce do you? She says "ya...you said the pot from last night". TURN everything off! Don't touch anything else. I will be right home!

Uggg! Not only do I have to figure out supper now, I have a huge mess to clean up and a meal or two is garbage! It’s now almost 6pm and I have to leave again by 6:50.

I can feel the battle going on in my head as I drive the rest of the way home. How can I NOT lose it when I get home, how can I handle this maturely? How can I just let this slide like water off a ducks back??? This can go one of two ways...

I drove in the yard (a little too fast) to find Tory, Cole and Ashley working hard in the yard cleaning up firewood and digging in the huge garden bed that I need all the clay dug out of. I stormed in the house, stormed by Kaehli, stormed around some more, stormed to the bathroom and dumped the very watered down pasta sauce (that was more water than sauce) down the toilet. No apology from Kaehli, no “can I help clean up”, not a peep. Later she told me she knew I was mad so she stayed away.

I came up with plan B for supper (Burgers and perogies), Did I mention Tory said “I looked mad”?, did the dishes and left for the third trip back to town, haircuts for Grace and Cole.

As I sat and had time to think while each kid had their special time in the chair I wonder how the last 2 hours just happened. I told myself I wanted to just let this go, yet I didn’t. I was cranky, and mad and probably looked more like a two year old having a tantrum than anything else. Sighhh

I decided I owed everyone an apology so off to Jack’s Drive In we went to bring Ice-cream treats home for everyone! As I pulled in the yard, I found my husband working in the dark with tractor lights on still digging in my dirt, my new garden bed!!! Let me tell you was I humbled! AND was I ever glad I brought home ice-cream!!! I apologized for my bad attitude to Tory, thanked him for his hard work, thanked the kids for helping in the yard, and asked my 12 year old if we could be friends. I told her I was sorry for making her think I was mad at her, I wasn’t really, just frustrated with the situation. She very willingly accepted, gave me a huge hug and had a huge smile taking her Oreo Jack frost!

This long story to tell you the day ended with a shovel, ice cream and one big happy family! Thanks God for little lessons that keep me humble and thank you for a hardworking husband and kids who love me despite my tantrums!!!

-Full Heart-

A bunch of FIRST'S

September always feels like the beginning of the year for me. For obvious reasons like school starting and all of the kids activities gearing up to go. So lets look back over the last year, and I will tell you about all of our firsts!

First year living on an acreage I have to say has been everything I dreamed it would be! Here is a little peek...

First garden turned out to be a success!

First baby bunnies were so sweet that we kept making more!

First horse and first love for Kaehli...this will take a whole other post to talk about!

First time working on a Horse Ranch!

First year of Hockey for Cole!

First RODEO! YEE HAW!!!!

First farm Auction was so fun and I came home with treasure!

First time I walked down the driveway to water the flowers by the gate I stopped and whispered...Thank you God. Thank you for bringing us to this place, to this moment. I told Tory that we can get old now...and I know this is just the beginning!

Christmas Home Tour 2009

This is my home decorated for Christmas. I was a part of a fundraiser to raise money for women in Costa Rica and Uganda. The money will go towards medical supplies. If you don't know what a Christmas Home Tour is, this is how it works: You pay $10 and receive a map to 11 homes. My home was one of the 11. Then you drive to each one and tour them! You definitely get inspired for Christmas. It was a great day! We decorated and displayed our Christmas traditions. Over 100 people passed through our home!! Our hope was that women would be blessed by the love and warmth of Christ through out our home.

2010

2010 hmmmmmmm ten years has gone by so quickly. I find myself day dreaming often in 10 year increments. It must be a "getting older" thing now that I'm over 30. Did I just say that out loud?
So many things change in 10 years. Houses change, jobs change, your weight changes, your hair color changes, your style of clothes change, your car changes, change change change I could go on and on.

There are 2 things that have remained constant for me over the last 10 years. First God continues to prove himself to me. Me the doubter, the constant doubter (hang head here). But God my ever lasting loving God has shown me how faithful he is, how he still works miracles today, how he whispers in my ear. The latest thing he whispered in my ear just a few days ago was "I see you daughter". I was dreaming and wondering and started to shove those dreams back down where they couldn't possibly hurt me if I don't think about the ones that haven't come true. I heard it gentle and sweet but clear as day, "I see you daughter"!!!!!! I treasure those words. He sees ME! Little unworthy me! I know what ever 2010 brings my father God sees me and will take care of me! Whether my dreams come true or not I stand in His will and smile because He sees me. I couldn't say that a year ago!

The second thing that remains true and truer every day is the love my husband pours over me. I have failed him time and time again yet he continues to poor his love over me, and sheds my crazy woman mood swings like water off a ducks back ha! I don't know how he puts up with me or has for over 10 years but he has. And every hardship, every rejection, every hurt, every sting, every mountain, valley, desert storm, we find ourselves running into each others arms. 10 plus years of hard times (lots of good times too) has brought us closer together each one a reminder that all we have is each other. In the end I know who will be by my side. My best friend.

I look forward to what 2010 has in store. I know that with God and Tory and the kids by my side it's sure to be a marvelous wonderful adventure. Regardless of what the year ahead holds I know one things for certain we're gonna be closer at the end!

I don't want to go through the motions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_rmCeAzqKc&feature=related

This might hurt; It's not safe
But I know that I've got to make a change
I don't care if I break
At least I'll be feeling something
Just ok is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

Chorus:
I don't want to go through the motions
I don't want to go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't want to spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets; Not this time
Gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
Just ok is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

Chorus

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
I don't want to go through the motions
I'm finally feeling something real

I don't want to go through the motions

Our words

How powerful are the words that come out of your mouth? Do you think they can impact a situation? I have been thinking a lot about this very thing lately...and today it proved true that yes there is so much power in the words that come out of my mouth. Let me explain...
Today I got a phone call from my mom. She was very relieved and excited to have brought her husband home from the hospital and very happy to tell me how well he was doing! I will back up a few days. Three nights ago on his birthday his appendix ruptured. My mom called me sat morning at 4 am to tell me he was just about to go into surgery. I could hear the worry in her voice and in my sleepiness I said three simple words...I will pray. She said OK, I will call you when he gets out of surgery, and that was the end of our conversation. She called me about an hour later around 5 am to tell me that the surgery went well and everything was OK, but all of her fears came out as well. She talked about the risk of infection, about his previous kidney transplant and how he isn't suppose to take antibiotics but he has to, and how this could really be bad for him...I listened for a few minutes and stopped her. I said Mom...you don't have to receive those thoughts you know. You can rebuke that nonsense. She said what do you mean? I said your husband is a strong man and if he can get through a kidney transplant he can get through appendix surgery! He will be just fine! He isn't going to get an infection, the doctors did a great job and the medicine he is taking will do what it is suppose to! I said stop speaking negative over him. She was kinda shocked and said...Oh! OK...ya I guess your right. She seemed a little better and said she would call me later.
So back to this morning. She called me and said you know Shawna when I called you the first time at 4 am and as all as you said was "I will pray"...you couldn't have said anything better. It gave me peace. So many people over the last few days have been so negative and filling me with all of the risks and worries and what ifs that when I called you and you told me to stop speaking negative and focus on the positive, speak positive and believe positive that it was so helpful and really got me through. You were the only one who had encouraging helpful uplifting things to say! So thank you for being you!
It was a great testimony of how powerful our words of encouragement can be! We all know how negative words can impact a situation...so this for me was proof that it goes both ways! Let me encourage you in two ways. First think about things that will HELP you! Not things that will add worry to what ever it is you are going through. If you can't, ask someone to help you!

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Phil 4:6-8

Secondly, think about what you say! If it's good or bad there is more power in the words that come out of your mouth than you think!
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. PS 19:14

Soon

The past few months have been crazy busy and I can't wait to tell you all about it! I am just taking a moment to tell you that I will TELL you soon!